fuckin stupid how badly i wanted to kiss him
fuckin stupid that he’ll break my heart if i let him
fuckin stupid that the first poem i write in months is about a boy who’s never read anything i’ve written, and maybe
never will
but still
i wanna get lost in the constellations of his eyes
know what my name from his lips sounds like
trace patterns on his skin
like maps to foreign dream lands,
places i’ve never been
he doesn’t sugarcoat things
but the stone cold statue words carved by his tongue still drip honey onto my hands
leave me wanting more of his rough blunt edges
his sharp solid walls
chiseled like his jawline
i want his fingerprints on mine
want them inside my skin
want him tangled up in my hair like spiderwebs like orange blossoms
his face reflected in my eyes like sunsets, strawberry kiwi
he is all the cinnamon whiskey i will ever need
and i want to tell him to say sorry
because he’s going to shatter me probably
eventually
and when he leaves he better not look back cuz i don’t wanna see the look in his eyes
fuckin stupid
how badly i wanted to kiss him
fuckin stupid that i could love lose love him